|
WhoseeksFinds
|
read my profile
sign my guestbook
Name: Molly
Birthday: 12/26/1985
Gender: Female
Interests: God, soccer, art, snowboarding, cooking, reading, road trips, rock climbing, kayaking, xbox
Expertise: "Be who you are and say what you think because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." Dr. Seuss
Occupation: Student
Industry: art, education
Message: message me
AIM:  WhoseeksFinds
Member Since:
6/26/2004
|
|
| Why do I feel this way? I don't believe it should be like this at all. Why do I have to feel as if I have done something wrong, as if I am being punished?
Have I guilt? No, then why am I made to feel guilty. Guilt without reason gives me the desire to do something to really be guilty about, in order to justify this feeling. Should it have all been this hard? It was not this hard before, does that mean that it will be worse, the same or better than what I use to have? Half the time I don't know what I am thinking or feeling but at this moment, I know that I do not like this particular feeling and have no other words to express it.
I ask for you to .... talk to me, open up to me, show me your art, show me something, be stable, think about me before you, do things for me without me asking, grow up for me, want something and fight for it, be a man, lead me, care for me, push me to grow, push me to be and do better, take control, yell at me, fight with me, show me something .... anything .... just know that I don't always say when I am mad and sad and hurt ... because I want people to think that I am stronger than I really am ... I am weak and telling you that I am mad at you, upset with you, crying inside, dying inside, in physical pain, or just mentally weak ... means I am weak and I don't want anyone to think that. I am not as intellectually smart as I make myself out to be, it is something I strive for, I am not always right ... even if I act as if I am ... call me out, tell me I am wrong and don't give up so easy when I disagree and say that you are wrong. I don't know what the hell I am talking about most of the time anyway. Just like any other artist, I think my work is shit, if its good tell me, if its shit tell me, it you don't get it tell me because my work and mind are nothing to be intimidated by, not at all. If I am being a bitch just to be one, call me out on it, tell me, yell at me, tell me to stop being short. Let me know you notice, most of the time I do it to get a reaction, because I am looking for something .... anything .... and you don't give it, which makes me just do it more because you don't tell me to stop. Just please give me something ... anything ....
... maybe I am just asking for too much ... or asking the wrong person ... sigh
Ugly Side lyrics
I must have sneezed
On knees I freeze
I mean I just choked up
Somehow I slept
I dream, I mean
I dreamt of nothing
Unable to breathe
A sweet relief
Now that you're for with me
A northern degree
Dove into me
Now I'm recovering
[Chorus]
I only want you to see
My favorite part of me
And not my ugly side
Not my ugly side
Ugly side
Hook up a C.B. Wave a way
For conversation flow
I'm shown to your cave, to wage this rage
Don't let me go
A kick and a scream is all that seems
To mean a lot thus far
I won't let you on my stage, my page
You can't know
Yet you have to know
[Chorus]
So calm...
And now it's dark
I look for you to light my heart
I'm in between the moon and where you are
I know... I can't be far
| | |
|
A decade ago,
I never thought I would be,
at twenty-three, on the verge of
spontaneous combustion. -Woe-is-me.-
But I guess that it comes
with the territory,
An ominous landscape of
never-ending calamity.
I need you to hear,
I need you to see
that I have had all I can take and
exploding seems like a (not an) DEFINITE possibility
to me.
So pardon me while I burst
into flames.
I've had enough of the world
and its people's mindless games.
So pardon me while I burn
and rise above the flame.
Pardon me, pardon me...
I'll never be the same!
Incubus - Pardon Me
Its been forever since i have heard this song ... but sometimes i def. feel like the words apply to my life. Sometimes i have this high on life and everything is wonderful and then other times its like this low that i am just so incredibly sick of everything and i just want to explode.
Walking back to my apt right now i was just thinking how the school year is almost over and i feel as if it has flown by .... like i am in a dream and there is no real sense of time anymore. Funny things dreams are ... trying to tell us something about how we think and feel that maybe we cant handle while we are awake. I am doing an art piece about dreams right now ... odd ... i have been having some crazy dreams the past few months ... none are "good" there are def. some bad dreams in there with me dying, which are reoccurring and i think i know what they are about. Then there are these reoccurring dreams i am having with pretty much the same 4 people in them and they are not bad as in me dying but they raise a concern to me and how i really think and feel and if i have an inability to trust. The dream centers on a lack of trust ... and i have it every few days .... hmmmm
how much should we really read into dreams??
| | |
| well sitting today, pondering lifes many things ... i thought "i should look at my old xanga ... i should start writing again..." so this is me writing again ... i will come up with something better soon. I have been really good about writing in my real journal so i will try to write in here again.
the song i am listening to is my new ring tone! 
| | |
| BlueOctober-Everlasting Friend A heartbeat skip, relationship
Inside a bubble bath
An icing drip below your lip
So we undo the math
A sudden slip between
My pathetic sedatives
A real-life script of how
Mistakes became our medicine, so
Delay the hurtful words
Of complicated overcast
Please take the message that I'm
Picking up my chin at last
I said my confidence
It gets stronger when you're next to me
But we pray from miles away
In quest for what we long to be
I might crumble, I might take a fall again
(Still missing you)
I might crumble, I might take a fall again
(Still missing you)
I might crumble, I might take a fall again
But you're my everlasting friend
Everlasting friend
A heartbeat skip, relationship
So we would stay up late
A teardrop drip below your lip
Beside the airport gate
A sudden slip from where
We used to be a year ago
A real-life script of how
Our hands would hold and not let go
But delay the mournful words
Of complicated overcast
Please take the message
That you taught me how to live at last
But I said my confidence
It gets stronger when you're next to me
But we wave respect goodbye
In quest for what we long to be, but
I might crumble, I might take a fall again
(Still missing you)
I might crumble, I might take a fall again
(Still missing you)
I might crumble, I might take a fall again
But you're my everlasting friend
Will you be coming home?
(Everlasting friend)
My everlasting friend, will you be coming home?
(Everlasting friend)
I might crumble, I might take a fall again
(Still missing you)
I might crumble, I might take a fall again
(Still missing you)
I might crumble, I might take a fall again
I might crumble, I might take a fall again
I might crumble, I might take a fall again
I might crumble, I might take a fall again
I might crumble, I might take a fall again
I just want to know that you'll be coming home
I just want to know that you'll be coming home
I just want to know that you'll be coming home
I just want to know that you'll be coming home
-really who thought a few fish could do all of that?
-whitewater rafting is amazing!
-wow is all i can say ....wow
I might crumble, I might take a fall again
But you're my everlasting friend
Everlasting friend | | |
| i need a job.
i am sunburnt.
i now own a horse.
i however did not name him beamer.
i cant wait to see how bad my grade are.
i cant wait to see how mad my parents are after that.
i woke up at 6:45 this morning, what a strange thing for me.
i still have two painting to have worked on by thrusday.
i have been working on the flowerbeds all day.
i cant wait for whitewater rafting.
i am painting my room later.
i need something more.
i miss sammy. | | |
|
